Film Geeks - Episode 27 Is Up

Title: EPISODE27 - Geek Fan Fiction

Episode Notes: Have you ever watched a movie and thought to yourself, "Wow, this movie could have been better if it ended like this..." or "It would be better if it had this in it...". Join us for our picks and plots. Then we'll be hitting up the audience for their plots. You can even email them to film.geeks@yahoo.com. Remember we are recording on Skype now (username = agentx216) and we just ask that you mute yourself until you're called on.

Download This Show Here - http://recordings.talkshoe.com/TC-14391/TS-140031.mp3

Other Show Can Be Found Here - http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/14391

SHOW NOTES:

Movie New

http://splashpage.mtv.com/2008/08/04/arkham-asylum-scribe-grant-morrison-opens-up-heath-ledgers-joker-diary/
Heath Ledger's Joker Diary

http://www.cinemablend.com/new/Wheel-Of-Time-Movie-Coming-9810.html
Wheel Of Time Movie - Geeks and Half Elves Rejoice

http://www.hecklerspray.com/venom-movie-pushed-forward-on-a-wave-of-unoriginality/200815624.php
Venom movie

http://www.superherohype.com/news/watchmennews.php?id=7598
Will Watchment get released?

http://movieblog.ugo.com/index.php/movieblog/more/campbell_talks_evil_dead_4/
Bruce Campbell and Evil Dead 4

http://gawker.com/5037992/robert-downey-jr-fuck-dc-comics
RDJr. says that Dark Knight is too smart so "f it"

http://www.mtv.com/movies/news/articles/1593180/story.jhtml
Did Harvey Dent Die?

Fan Fiction

- Independence Day - The crashing attack ships at the end up taking out more people than the aliens killed. A new rush to use alien technology is sought after and Zimbabwe becomes a superpower after getting surviving aliens to build them weapons. American, China, and Russia join forces but are wiped our. President Whitmore drinks himself to death after downing two kegs by himself while playing Spaceballs on repeat and commenting how much of a hack Lonestar is. Meanwhile a crazed induced Capt. Miller decides that aliens have launched a secret war by impersonating humans and after killing his new wife and stepson, launches the entire nuclear arsenal of the US. Thus blowing up the world.

Donnie Darko - At the end Donnie decides not to die but instead see the Matrix and meets Brandon Routh's Superman. After Superman breaks down crying because of his not knowing his sexual identity or even why he's such a wussy Superman. Donnie Darko gives Superman a wedgie and boots him in the butt, sending Superman face planting into the moon.

The Matrix Revolution - Neo and the original Agent Smith square off surrounded by an entire world of Agent Smiths. The two titans stare each other down and sprint towards each other. A glint in Neo's eye stops him and Agent Smith at the same time right in mid stride. Five other Agent Smiths pull out a washboard, a banjo, a jug, and a jews harp. Neo and the Agent Smiths perform every musical number from Clint Eastwood's musical "Paint Your Wagon". Then they grab a beer at a nice Tex-Mex bar and grill and recount their tales of screwing around with the Matrix.

Alien Vs. Predator - The aliens don't kill all but three humans within the first three minutes of exploring the temple. Instead 3 scientists and 7 Marines are left to battle the Aliens and the Predators. The humans fight both the Predators and the Aliens. There are casualties on all sides. Two humans remain. The black chick scientist after getting marked for honor by the last surviving Predator waits until his back is turned and stabs him in the back killing him. She then dons on his armor and is taken to the Predator home world were she just go psycho and kills as many of them as she can until they elect her ruler over them and she sets up her throne on a stack of Predator skulls like Conan. Meanwhile, a crazed Marine sniper hollows out an Alien creature and uses the skin as armor. The Aliens can't tell the difference and they make there way to a ship and to the Alien home world. The Queen of all Queens is there in the middle of the city surrounded by billions of Aliens. He makes the mistake of sneezing. The Aliens attack him and present him to the Queen. Before she has a chance to eviscerate the Marine, lightning sends a few dozen Aliens from the middle of the party. A glowing ball expands and smoke clouds the object. A slow rising camera rises from the feet of the creature who came from the orb. It's a woman who's human name was Ripley, her eyes glow red, and we fade to black. Alien Vs. predator Vs. Terminator shows up on the screen.

Anchorman - In the last quarter of the movie, everyone stops making jokes and it quickly becomes an intense and exhaustive study on the effects of the main stream media being controlled by corporations and being in league with the federal government. People would not know what to do with the just drastic change in the story and tone and genre of the movie.

Back To The Future III - Doc Brown asks Marty to go on one last wild adventure with him on his time traveling train. Marty smiles at his girlfriend and they hop on. Marty asks where they are going. To which Doc replies, "well I've got to take these over due library books back so they won't be over due." Marty's grin widens and he says, "And thennnn?" Doc stares at Marty blankly. Marty stares back. This goes on for 3 full minutes. Then Doc breaks out laughing saying, "Ha ha nahhh, we're going to go to the future and punch the fire Morlock in the nether-regions!" There is cheering all around.

Spider-Man 3 - I would write the story so that it didn't suck.

Batman & Robin - Mr. Freeze makes one too many cold, ice, freeze jokes in the beginning of the movie. Robin dodges the freeze ray and snaps Mr. Freeze's neck as Batman screams "Noooooo!" Batman goes over to the lifeless body only to find out that Mr. Freeze is really his thought to be dead father and Mr. Freeze was told by the Joker that Batman had killed Bruce Wayne. Batman then turns into a crazed bad guy after breaking out of Arkum and slaughtering and eating all the villains he has put in there. Robin teams up with The Punisher and they hunt Batman.

Big - Josh tells the police that he the chick touched him and made him touch her and she gets arrested for child pedophilia.

The Bourne Identity - Jason Bourne really isn't a spy but after hitting his heading and loosing his memory he is accessing all the spy films he's seen in his previous life as a zoo keeper.

Ratatouille- The cook kills the rat and after hearing the final confession of the talking rat decides to begin his life as a drug dealer. Still keeping his job as a cook, he devises a food item that is like mixing every kind of drug together into one. The code word for ordering it is Ratatouille. You watch the young cook's rise in the drug trade business and putting a hit out of his short, annoying boss and making an addict out of the hot girl he worked with. You also watch his fall as an INTERPOL officer attempts to track him down. The movie ends with the INTERPOL officer and the cook holding guns to each others heads and saying "one of us needs to put our gun down first and we'll just walk away from it all." to which the other replies "it's hard to trust an enemy after being enemies for so long." the final words in the film are "it sure is" and fade to black. Now THAT'S a Pixar movie I want to see!

Close Encounters Of The Third Kind - The military pulls a fast one on the aliens and kidnaps them. The aliens are then bred and harvested after finding out their meat is the most nutrious and long lasting meat in the universe. World hunger is abolished and the planet grows prosperous. A galactic war starts and it looks like we don't even have a chance at winning until the birth of a small child that his parents end up calling, Ender Wiggins.

Cloverfield - Destruction and anarchy reign. The monster makes his way to LA where he picks up the director of Donnie Darko and forces him to explain every part of the movie to his satisfactory. After that he calls Gammera, he's a friend to children, and they return to their home planet of Venus where the only channel they get of Earth's is somehow when Donnie Darko is on HBO. Cloverfield and Gammera are given a ticker tape parade and victory is declared and answers are only shared with their planet and those that agree to serve them as indentured servants.

Crank - The only thing I would change is that when he falls from the plane he lands in a pillow storage facility that is getting a new roof put on and the force of the impact forces the poison to his stomach where the mixture of the drugs, energy drinks, caffeine pills, etc. makes him expel everything out. He lays there dazed, shakily stands up and says, "I need a car" and at that moment Frank from The Transporter slides to a stop in front of him and says "Get in. They have your girlfriend and my son." BAM! Spinoff

Die Hard 3 - Willis shoots Jackson, thus making DH3 a better movie.

Do The Right Thing - Spike Lee comes on after the credits and calmly states, "And that's why I think slavery should be started again."

Enemy At The Gates - The two snipers have each other in their sites. It's the first time actually seeing each other. The tension is thick. Who will fire first. Nothing happening. A piano corus occurs and the last half hour of the movie is Romeo and Juliet meets Brokeback Mountain. Enemy at the Gates 2 an Ang Lee picture.

Reign Of Fire - The Americans tear the bare arms off Matthew McConaughey and team up with the Brits. The two forces inspire the last remnants of humanity to fight dragon after dragon. Around the world mankind teams up and struggles using weapons of a forgotten war. Sages find caches of books on old magic and they travel the globe teaching magic to humanity. What you have now. 1) a dragon movie 2) magic and modern weaponry 3) a story about mankind vs. dragons and not about man vs. man where there's only one male dragon and somehow he was able to create another dragon to make with and there is no genetic decay from that one male dragon producing offspring with his own offspring

Ghost Rider - After Nick Cage makes a deal with the devil, he falls off his bike after staring at himself in his bike's mirror. Thus breaking his neck and he's never allowed to make another movie again. Oh and Mark Wahlberg is assigned by the courts to be his 24/7 caretaker after Marky Mark's acting ability is found by the international courts to be crimes against humanity.

Mrs. Doubtfire - At the end, the parents get back together and Mrs.Doubtfire comes on the screen and says, "Children, through deceit and trickery you too can get your divorced parents back together again. After all, it worked in the "Parent Trap" tee hee".

Lord Of The Flies - The Goonies meet Stand By Me group

LOTR - Return Of The King - Frodo asks Gandolf, "Hey, Gandolf, why couldn't we have used the giant eagles to take us to Mount Doom?" Gandolf stares blankly. Fade to black and fade up from black. The hobbits are sitting around a table eating Sam asks Frodo, "Mmmm, Frodo, can you pass another thigh this way?" Merry says to Pip and the rest, "Who knew the old wizard had so much meet under those robes?" They laugh and freeze on that shot and play "Don't You Forget About Me". Credits.

Jurassic Park III - Completely new script. John Hammond is broke and on the brink of insanity. INGEN gets taken over in a hostile take over. A solid SNAP! can be heard in Hammond's head when told the news. He then unleashes dinosaurs throughout the country and the rest of the world and he won't deactivate them until he's paid. Military fighting dinos. In the end, Native American save us and reclaim half of the eastern hemisphere. Hammond makes his way to Jupiter where intelligent dinosaurs rule. We find out that dinos didn't go extinct, they just left us low brow humans behind.

Saving Private Ryan - Private Ryan grows up to be even a bigger meanie than Hitler.

The Happening - Mark Wahlberg and Julie Roberts plan a wedding and get married. The twist is...there is no twist!

Signs - We find out that the aliens are on the wrong planet and they should have made a left at Albuquerque

Submit your own fan fiction in the comments section or email them to film.geeks@yahoo.com

We'll read them on the air!

Any ideas for next week's show?