Hellboy Animated – Sword Of Storms - Review

Hellboy Animated – Sword Of Storms

I was kind of disappointed with the live action version of "Hellboy". I didn't think the movie did enough to flush out the reasons why the characters fought for what they did and the story was a bit lacking. However, the cast was perfect. Ron Perlman as Hellboy was the only choice for the role. He has the talent and the personality to pull of the perfect Hellboy, which he did. Selma Blair also is perfect as Liz Sherman and Doug Jones plays Abe Sapien like no one else could or should. So while I didn't like the plot of the movie so much, I loved the roles. Ya, I know, I'm a bit messed up. So when I see that the magnificent three reprise their roles in a few Hellboy animated movies, I didn't dread checking them out.

In "Hellboy Animated - Sword Of Storms" we once again join the ranks of the BPRD (The Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense) which Hellboy, Liz, and Abe are members of. This time they must fight the mess created by a Japanese professor who is studying a folklore myth of ancient Japan. The myth turns out not to be a myth at all when the demonic minions of two mega-demons, Thunder and Lightning, are released. The minions mission, like in all these movies, is to release their masters so that they may reign on Earth. Hellboy is transported to another dimension where he must protect a sword, that if broken, will release the demons on Earth. Abe and Liz must stop a dragon from waking and helping Thunder and Lightning wipe mankind from the face of the Earth. Two other BPRD agents, Kate Corrigan (Peri Gilpin) and Russell Thorne, must track down the professor who is possessed and stop him from releasing any more demonic minions to get Hellboy to break the sword.

Grade - B-

I actually liked this movie more than the live action movie. This probably stems from the fact that with animation, it is easier to bring out the comic feel to the story than a live action version. The animation in this is very solid and amazing. Some of the scenes, however, have very poor lighting and take away from a lot of its beauty. Hellboy tends to look more boxy in scenes, but that is probably more like the comic book design than the live action (whose Hellboy costume I loved). Overall though, Tad Stones and Phil Weinstein do some amazing animation work.

The story is decent enough. It makes some good use of Japanese culture and history and the story could have almost come right out of a real life Japanese tale. I do have to gripe that the "dragon" in this movie looked more like a tentacle with a venus flytrap for a head. The story is a little weak in places, more so in the different dimension that Hellboy gets sent to. This story, though, was better written than the movie. However, I wasn't looking for background stories or motivation in this one as much as I wanted in the live action movie.

What made this movie for me, though, was the perfectly written humor. Each character is unique in their style and carried out perfectly in this animated flick. Hellboy has a great lackadaisical sense of humor since little can hurt him. There's one scene where he steals Thunder's hammer and misses hitting Thunder with it. Thunder is looking back to his hammer to Hellboy to see if he should get his weapon or attack Hellboy. Hellboy then dryly replied, "Just go get it." It's a perfect match from the comics. The same applies to Selma Blair's portrayal of Liz. Her humor is dry and adds a lot of laugh out loud moments in the film. Abe's sarcastic and straight to the point humor makes for some good laughs as well.

The solid animation, the good use of actors and humor styles, and a decent storyline made this movie worth the watch.

Show Notes For Film Geeks - Episode 14

Episode 14 can be listened to here - http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/14391

http://www.variety.com/article/VR1117985451.html?categoryid=13&cs=1&nid=2563
Weekend box office

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b136128_hollywood_kryptonite.html
DC Vs. Marvel movies; Iron man 2 in 2010 then Thor in 2010 as well and Captain America in 2011 and The Avengers in 2011

http://mediamorgue.blogspot.com/2008/05/mcconaughey-is-captain-america.html
Rumors, and only rumors, say Matt McConaughey might be Captain America

http://www.comingsoon.net/news/movienews.php?id=44826
Donnie Darko 2

Unintention Comedies
- Roadhouse
- Spaceman
- Over The Top
- Omega Code
- Dragon Wars
- Battlefield Earth
- Top Gun - hilarious homoerotic undertones
- Plan 9 From Outer Space
- Point Break
- They Live
- Totem
- Manos - The Hands Of Fate
- Asteroid (1997) - TV movie
- Hackers
- Trolls 2
- Hercules and Hercules 2 with Lou Ferrigno
- War Of The Robots
- Glitter - self mastabatory Carey movie and even talks about not wanting to look sluty
- Night of the lepus - killer giant rabbits! almost as bad as Killer Shrews - dogs dressed as shrews
- Reefer Madness - complete govt propaganda...you do drugs you'll eventually turn crazy and kill your sister
- The Towering Inferno
- Jaws the Revenge

Teeth - Review

Teeth

When I first saw this movie trailer I thought it was going to be one of the best dark comedy movies every. It had all the markings to be a great horror comedy. However, could this movie live up to being one of the greats along with "Death To Smoochy", "Doctor Strangelove", and "Fargo"?

High school innocent, Dawn (Jess Weixler) works hard to protect her virginity and the virginity of her peers. She's an outcast in her school and by her stepbrother, Brad (John Hensley), who doesn't make it easier with his wild lifestyle. However, Dawn's meek lifestyle might be the result of something else...unnatural.
After one of her friends almost rapes her she finds that she is the embodiment of the vagina dentata myth. That is, her vagina has teeth! She must cope with her pure lifestyle and trying to defeat the monster within her.

Now come on, after a story plot like that how could anyone NOT watch it?! Did you miss the part when I said, "HER VAGINA HAS TEETH!

Grade - D-

I was so sad what this movie was and what it wasn't. First of all the story moves way to slow. It takes almost half the movie to get to anything important. Second of all there was little comedy to this movie. There were really only a few funny scenes. One being the OBGYN checkup and the other being when she finds out her hero is really a jerk. The disappointment I have should be felt by all. After all, how do you screw up a dark comedy that involves a woman's lady parts having teeth? The only real classic bit to the movie is that you don't see the fanged creature so it leaves you guessing as to what it is. However, with the myriad of shots of a nuclear reactor, the subtly is lost on how it came about. Sad to say, the only really cool part of the movie was the opening credits. Usually, this is the part I fast forward until it's over because in most movies, nothing revealing happens. Yet, these credits show you a preformed Dawn making her way in the womb. It's pretty neat actually.

I do have to make a little snippet against this movie's political views. This really shows a bias against Christianity and its message of waiting til marriage. It kind of reminds me of "Saved", in that both are neither really funny but bash a good institution. The characters are shown to have trouble remaining pure to the extent that it's an almost impossible task. That's just complete horse hockey and Hollywood has been doing these slights against Christianity and the wanting of waiting till marriage to have sex for quiet some time now. There previous attempts, as well as this one, shows how low most movies look at Christianity and the role of sex in our lives.

Yet, even I can put aside my dislike for the message and enjoy a movie. After all, I really liked "Dazed And Confused" and actually agreed with its message. Yet, the almost nonexistent care for this movie still remained for me. This could have been a really funny movie, but with the very slow pace and the little comedy that was in it made it boring and almost worthless. If the movie didn't take itself so seriously and tried to be a true dark comedy (that is threw in more than two funny scenes), it wouldn't have been a bad dark comedy. Come on! The story was about a girl with a killer vagina! A vagina with teeth!

Noises Off... - Review

Noises Off...

Once in a great while, Hollywood comes up with a script so well written and so fluid that it makes me want to cry. Sometimes, they even pick a spectacular cast to pull off the beautifully written script. Sometimes, Hollywood just stands back and let the wonder of movie magic happen. Sometimes, Hollywood has to steal plays from Broadway to accomplish this daunting task.

This movie has talent sweating from its pores. You have the great Michael Caine as the lead and the wonderful acting style of John Ritter to boot. There's also Carol Burnett and Christopher Reeve, Denholm Elliott and Julie Hagerty, Marilu Henner and Nicollette Sheridan, and a few others. Each actor is almost perfectly cast in the appropriate part.

The story might remind you a little bit about "The Producers". The movie is about a group of actors who are making a play. The movie is broken up into three very distinct acts. The best thing is that you are really only seeing the same play three different times, however with different perspectives. Lloyd Fellowes (Caine) is directing his next big play. However, his cast is full of drama and characters who almost seem bent on driving him nuts. The three acts we see are the final rehersal (how the play is suppose to be but with comedic breaks for the actors to have input or things to go wrong), then we see what happens backstage (we also get to see what happens when there is strife between the cast members), and then we get to see what happens when the play makes it big in New York...and things don't do exactly as planned.

Grade - A+

To describe too much of this movie would absolutely ruin it. If you like comedy that is based on dialog as well with just a hint of physical comedy this movie is for you. All the actors in this are great but what really shines is the script. I swear, the person who thought of this was high or tripping on acid or both. It had to be amazingly complicated to write this but an absolute joy to see it turn out. The best part about the movie is that even though you are seeing the same play pretty much three times, each time is absolutely hilarious. I would also suggest multiple viewings of this film because each time you watch it you catch something you missed the first time. The movie is fast paced and you can find yourself laughing at three comedic elements at the same time during certain parts. This is one of the smartest comedies I have had the pleasure to see. Just don't forget the sardines.

Thr3e - Review

Thr3e

Thrillers can be a great movie genre. If done correctly you can have a great blend of action and drama. You can also have a story that you feel apart of. You're usually trying to figure out all the pieces of the story as the main character(s) are. However, if done incorrectly you can have a movie that's worse than watching Steven Seagal read "Hamlet".

The only real name of note in this movie is Marc Blucas. You might remember him if you were a fan of "Buffy The Vampire Slayer". Blucas played Buffy's second serious, and most annoying, boyfriend, Riley Finn. I was so glad to see him go; he was no Angel.

Kevin Parson (Blucas) is being stalked by a mad bomber who loves leaving riddles for his victims. The killer has very intimate knowledge of Parson's past and present. The police are three steps behind this killer and seem to just react to his antics without making any real progress. Parson must save not only himself and innocent people around him, but he also must save his childhood companion, Samantha (Laura Jordan). With the help of police detective, Jennifer Peters (Justine Waddell), these three must stop the killer before everyone dies.

Grade - D-

This movie moves really quick right off the bat. You are thrown into the main story with little background into any of the main characters. This is really the movie's only redeeming quality. There is no coherent story arch in this film. It seems that random plot elements just happen randomly with nothing more in common with the previous scenes other than the main characters. I just can't describe how random this storyline is. I have never read the book, but if it was written as atrociously as this movie was then I don't understand who gave the backing for the movie. I only learned afterwards that this was based on a Christian themed book; the movie shows no real Christian message that you see in Christian based movies.

You feel nothing for Parson because you're just thrown into his life and the villain attacks right away. The movie does a horrible job at revealing his past throughout the movie. It's as random and sudden as the movie itself is. You don't love him or feel for him in any way. Why should I care if this guy gets killed? I really didn't know.

I hate thriller movies that use riddles that only the characters in the movie can figure out. When a movie gives you riddles, you should be able to figure them out because it helps you get involved with the movie more. You shouldn't have to know the fictional cities bus route in order to figure out the clues. Riddles like that turn people off to the movie because then they don't even try to think of the answers. In a good thriller movie you feel as if you can help the main character figure out the who, what, where, why, when, and how. This movie is nothing like that. It made me feel less than indifferent to the story. It's so convoluted and random, not to mention having way too many explosions in it for a thriller, that you couldn't even try to be drawn in.

The ending was just so atrocious. Its reveal is tired and dull and has been reused again and again. Let me just say that this might be a spoiler if you're going to watch this movie. This movie is what "Revolver" is like without the big budget. This movie also teaches you that if you are mentally ill, all you have to do is have someone convince you that you're sick and you'll calm right down if you acknowledge it. Watching the end of this movie was worse than volunteering to carry out an experiment to see what it feels like to get hit in the nose with a sledgehammer.

Twenty-Seven Dresses - Review

Twenty-Seven Dresses

There is nothing wrong with a guy watching a good chick flick. Guys can learn a lot about women from movies like these. You can learn that girls are more interested in dialog rather than the visuals. You can learn that every girl wants their own version of their perfect date/man/day. You can also learn that sometimes, even women have a hard time entertaining each other.

The story is written by the same woman who wrote "The Devil Wears Prada", Aline Brosh McKenna. I enjoyed that movie; I didn't love it, but it didn't make me to want to get into a bar fight to reclaim my testosterone. Anne Fletcher is the director with her only other previous directing credit being another boy from the streets/girl from the class dance movie, "Step Up". This was also the return of Katherine Heigl to the big screen after her great hit, "Knocked Up". I think that's where I went wrong. I saw an excellent example of great writing and directing with one actress and applied it to a movie she does next that has kind of the same story elements of finding love and such.

The story is that of Jane Nichols (Hiegl) who has been a bridesmaid 27 times. She is drawn to the other women to help them achieve their perfect day. However, she hasn't found that special someone that makes her heart pitter patter. She's infatuated with her boss, George (Edward Burns), but he has never made a move for her. She has been stuck in this rut for a long time. That soon changes when her sister, Tess (Malin Akerman), shows up and her and George become romantically involved. So much so, that quickly, George proposes to Tess and now the fairy tale wedding that Jane had planned all her life has become her little sister's. To complicate things, a newspaper reporter, Kevin Doyle (James Marsden), is doing an story on her and her 27 times a bridesmaid and never a bride life.

Grade - D

This movie is not very good at all. The pacing of this movie is so slow; it just kind of meanders along, like trying to start a lawn mower after the long winter months. It also didn't help that this movie was so much longer than it needed to be. There is no way it needed to be close to two hours. We don't even get the movie title until 55 and a half minutes into the film. The real problem of this movie is that it wants to be a romantic comedy but it really turns out just to be a poorly written typical romance story with very little story. There are only one and a half good scenes in this film. The trying on of the dresses scene was the only funny scene and the bar singing scene started out really cute but it got really stupid quick. The storyline is your typical girl doesn’t need guy, girl meets guy but hates him, girl and guy then fall for each other, guy screws it up, guy apologizes, guy and girl live yadda yadda. It's a cookie cutter movie with no surprises, little to no laughs, and no originality. I felt like I was watching a remake of "The Wedding Planner" and "The Wedding Singer". Also, Heigl only has one really good line.

I do have to say that this movie accomplishes a movie first in the history of movies. This is the only movie where James Marsden doesn't cry, pout, or whine like a pansy, although you don't really learn a lot about it. I can compare to how much you get to know the character to a pebble skipping across the pond. He seems just kind of thrown into the story at times but disappears for the most part. The mean article he writes is also never really told to us. The movie tries to make him a kinda bad guy who's uncaring about marriage and only wants to advance his career but the movie really doesn't show us that at all.

I did learn three things from this movie. I learned that all you have to do to find "the one" is have your kiss with them have sparks. So ladies, I am single and looking for "the spark. Random geek kisses for all! Second, I learned that you can commandeer the microphone at any wedding and pretty much ruin it with your petty squabble. If this took place at my wedding, I'd get some grandma bouncers to pinch their cheeks right out of my shindig! Finally, I learned that all that matters is the wedding day and nothing else. What is Hollywood’s deal with making the wedding day the only thing that matters yet married life is always looked at as a hindrance? I'd like to think that Heigl's character got over her wedding day and in the 6 months after the one day she looked forward to with anticipation for her whole life, she got sick of being married and forgot she needed to keep building a meaningful relationship after the honeymoon period. That's how Hollywood movies would really end if they were in the real world or continued a bit further than their ending do.

Patrick Guest Stars On New Podcast

Gathering Geeks is a new show hosted by One Geek And A Microphone masta' Chaz and Sound Check ruler Chris K. It's a great show from the geeks' perspective. Check it out below.

Gathering Geeks - Episode 3 - Be Kind, Please Rewind